Define "chronic" masturbator.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
