I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You pole danced in your parka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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