dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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