every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize