Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize