I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
