he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
