Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Randomize
