Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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