question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize