stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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