if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
How external is "for external use only"?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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