There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
