No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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