I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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