Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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