yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
