we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
