You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
