Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
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He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
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Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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