So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
