I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
