Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
