i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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