Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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