I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
