So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
