Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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