I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
