pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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