I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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