Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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