woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
