I can't watch pbs sober anymore
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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