the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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