I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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