ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
