yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
