yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
