that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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