Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
