Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
