I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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