The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
