After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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