Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
