it was like his penis was on wheels.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
