Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
