i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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