whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
