I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
