Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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