Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
