You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
